Did you just find out that your wife is having an emotional affair? If so, it probably feels like a knife in the heart. In a strange way, emotional infidelity almost feels worse than if your wife just had a one-night stand with someone she didn’t care about. Emotional cheating feels as if your deepest secrets have been revealed for the entire world to see.
You are probably feeling several different emotions right about now. Anger, sadness, bitterness and loneliness are just some of the feelings you might be experiencing in waves that come and go. You do not know where to turn or what to do, and you might even feel like lashing out. However, you should not do this. In fact, there are five things you should not do when you discover your wife has had an emotional affair.
Do Not Beg Her To Stop
Granted, not all men go this route. Some are so angry that begging her to stop communicating with the person she is having an emotional affair with is out of the question. However, there are men who will decide to try to beg if only because they cannot stand the thought of breaking up and being alone.
Begging is never attractive, and it will not work. You might use all the right words and garner her sympathy, but do not forget there is a big problem with your relationship. That’s why she is committing emotional adultery.
Do Not Kick Her Out
You might be so devastated when you find out that she is having an emotional affair with another man that you are tempted to kick her out of the house or apartment. This isn’t a good idea. Obviously if the two of you have children, you need to think about them in this difficult time. In addition, kicking your wife out will not achieve your objectives.
Once she has gone, you will lose almost all contact with her. How will you resolve the issue and rebuild the relationship? Maybe you do not want to resolve it but instead want a divorce. Again, kicking her out of the house is not a good idea. The courts won’t look kindly on it and you will not be privy to what is going on in her life.
Do Not Announce It To The World
Admit it: you have been wronged, and you want the world to know about it. You want sympathy, too, and you probably deserve it. However, it is not in your best interest to tell everyone about the emotional cheating your wife has been doing on you.
People are funny. We all know this. Some of them might react favorably, while others might blame you. Word will probably get back to where both you and your spouse work and tensions could develop. There are so many things that could go wrong that the easiest way to address whom you tell is to not tell anyone. Besides, you need to garner your energy and work on your relationship anyway.
Do Not Go After The Other Man
You are certainly angry right now and have reason to be. However, that does not mean you should go after the man she is having the emotional affair with. Things could get heated very quickly and you could wind up doing something that could get you in trouble with the law.
Also, he might not even be aware that your wife is committing emotional infidelity. Are you wondering how that can be? Simple. He might have an entirely different read on the situation than you and your wife do, and might not realize how much she has invested in him. Also, your issue is with your wife, not with the man she is having an emotional affair with. Confronting him, in the end, will solve absolutely nothing.
Do Not Confront Her Without Proof
If you confront her and have no evidence, she is probably going to deny it. Wouldn’t you? Most cheaters initially react to being caught by telling lies. It’s almost a defense mechanism. In addition, if you confront her without having evidence, you might just drive the emotional affair deeper underground.
When you do decide to talk to her about the emotional affair she is having, try to remain as calm as you possibly can. Give her time to explain even though you probably do not want to hear it. If the two of you can speak calmly, you have a much better chance of saving your relationship.
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