Your husband or wife has had an affair and you’re wondering if there’s any hope. You’re hoping to barely scrape by and maybe find a way to heal your marriage. Chances are you’re not thinking that the affair may actually make your marriage better. However, that’s exactly what can happen. A marriage can be better after the affair.
An Affair Doesn’t Strengthen the Marriage – The Hard Work After the Affair is What Strengthens Your Marriage.
Let’s be clear here, an affair in no way, shape or form is a marriage strengthener. It generally has the opposite effect. However, when both of you are willing to put in the hard work and effort it takes to recover from infidelity, then a marriage can become more solid than it was. This “better marriage” doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen by itself.
Generally, a strong marriage takes years of hard work to happen. And it often requires outside help. A marriage counselor, marriage coach, minister, or even a marriage fitness program can be the key to taking a barely surviving marriage and making it great again.
In 1998 sports announcer Frank Gifford was quoted in an Associated Press article as saying his affair made his marriage stronger. It sent waves of outrage throughout the country. How could an affair make a marriage stronger?
Later, in a Larry King Live interview, Gifford explained that his affair nearly cost him everything he had. While unhappy in his marriage, it wasn’t the right solution or the path to happiness. He committed himself to making up for his transgression, showing his wife and family that they were the most important people in his world. He said he made her the following promise, “I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you thought I was.”
Both Husband and Wife Have to Do the Work
Frank Gifford’s actions are what is required to make a marriage better after an affair. It requires the cheater to not only ask for forgiveness but to deserve it. In this case actions do speak louder than words but the words matter as well. And the spouse who was cheated on has to work hard to forgive.
Both partners need to take an honest look at who they are and what they want. You both need to want to make a commitment to make it work. It often helps to talk with an expert. They can help you work through the emotions and answer the difficult questions.
Once you know what you want, you can then work with your coach or counselor together. Your marriage can rise from the ashes like the mythological Phoenix. It can be better, stronger, and more fulfilling for you both.
What to do Next. Start by signing up for a free, no-obligation and confidential marriage assessment and free “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage” report and get immediate help to save your marriage.Click here for instant access.