Your husband had an affair and now you’re left with betrayal, distrust, and the doubt that your life will ever be the same. It’s never easy. However, it can be more challenging if you’re dealing with the infidelity on your own. The good news is that while your husband, or ex-husband, may not be any help, there are many resources you can utilize to help you get through this trying time.
It’s a Time for Self Reflection and Self Love
It’s very easy to turn inward and to hide from life when you’ve experienced infidelity. Your life is not over. Instead of feeling bad about yourself, your marriage and your life, start assessing who you are and where you want to go from here.
Take time to focus on yourself now. What have you always wanted to learn or experience? For example, maybe you always wanted to take a pottery class or learn to rock climb. Do it! Start appreciating yourself and focus on the positive. It will help you move past the infidelity and forward with the rest of your life.
Your husband isn’t there to support you. That’s okay. You have friends and family. They can often be more supportive and helpful than a cheating spouse. Turn to the people you feel closest to. It’s important to be able to communicate your thoughts and feelings and your friends and family may be the people who allow you to do this. Choose to speak to people who make you feel loved and appreciated rather than judged.
You may also consider seeking outside help or advice. Counselors aren’t right for everyone. However, a marriage coach, life coach or even an infidelity expert can help you deal with the infidelity and move forward with your life.
Realize Your Role, Accept Responsibility, Move Forward
A marriage is between two people and the breakdown of a marriage is always a reflection of both the husband and the wife. Your husband cheated and there’s no excuse for that. However, you likely played a role in the collapse.
Rather than feeling guilty and powerless, spend some time assessing what happened. What actions do you need to take responsibility for? When you understand why the infidelity occurred you can accept responsibility and learn from the mistakes that were made.
This acceptance allows you to move forward with your life positively. If your husband is interested in repairing the marriage then you have an honest starting point to work from. If he’s not or you’ve divorced then you can eventually move forward with a new relationship.
Infidelity is a painful lesson and dealing with it on your own can be a tremendous challenge. Instead of suffering in silence, get help. Find friends, family members, and experts to guide you through this trying time. You can survive, grow, and find happiness again.