After the Affair: What Can a Cheating Wife do to Get Her Partner to Forgive and Reconcile With Her?

You made a mistake.  You want to make things right.  You acknowledge the faults you have and will do anything to overcome the situation.  But how can you get your husband to forgive and reconcile with you after the affair is over?

We’ve all heard about how devastating it is when husbands cheat on their wives.  But if the tables are turned, there are several women who will find out just how devastating it is to be the cause of the hurt in the marriage.  As a woman, it is in your nature to want to make all the emotional pain go away, but you’ll most likely have a difficult time determining what to do.  The problem you are now facing is how to get your husband to forgive you and reconcile with you.

Having a strained relationship because of an affair is hard on both parties, even after the affair is over.  If the couple decides that they are willing to give it another shot, there are a ton of things that need to be overcome before the marriage can be solid again.  Some of the things you could be experiencing include:

  • Emotions of grief and sadness will seem to be inevitable.  While your husband is asking “how could you do this to me?” you are begging for him to find forgiveness and understanding.


  • Your husband may be picturing you in another man’s arms and that can leave him feeling sick with anger.


  • Both your self-worth and confidence will be shot.  You maybe be thinking, “Will he ever find it in his heart to forgive me?” or “How could I be this unworthy to hurt him this much?”   He, in turn, maybe thinking, “Am I not enough for you?” or “Don’t you love me anymore?”


  • The act of trying to understand why the affair happened in the first place can make you crazy. The frustration will end up driving you apart rather than re-building your relationship, even if you try to ignore the problem.

So how can you fix the problem after the affair you have had?  You could always try to work things out yourselves, but seeking marriage counseling is a sure bet to work out the issues.  The initial step to getting your husband to forgive you is to really talk it out and ask for forgiveness.  You should also continue praying for guidance and strength to overcome the situation.  Self-help programs like “How to Survive an Affair” have also assisted in easing the transition from the aftermath of the affair to the reconciliation of the marriage.

Constantly reminding your husband that you care, whether it be by writing him letters or giving him flowers and just being more attentive to his needs will allow him to minimize the hurt he is experiencing.  Again, counseling will really help you talk everything through, set limits and boundaries, and just generally meeting each others needs.

It is not impossible to overcome the strain in your marriage after the affair.  While it might feel like it’s taking forever to get over it, the time you spend on trying to get things back to normal will be worth it.  The more effort you put in, the more your partner will see just how much you are willing to work things out.

If you are looking for more details on just how to go about getting your husband to forgive you and reconcile after the affair you had, Dr. Gunzburg”s program, “How to Survive an Affair” can give you the insight you need.  This program is a true road map and plan on how to deal with infidelity in your marriage. It describes exactly what should be done to start the healing process.

For instance, in phase1, section three, the program provides guidance on how you, the cheater, can work on learning how to cope with your own emotions and become trustworthy again.

Just use this link now and use How to Survive an Affair to help you learn how to get your husband to forgive and reconcile with you now that the affair is over. You can begin right away by turning to page 56.