Did you ever think you would need affair recovery help because your spouse cheated on you? Are you afraid of what will happen in the future because you have been cheated on? Do you feel devastated and think you cannot trust your marriage partner anymore? If you answered yes to the above questions, then you should consider some sort of counseling, whether online or traditional. There are many affair recovery techniques available to you. You can either choose to use a marriage counselor or use self-help online books.
Affair Recovery Counseling
Marriage counseling is considered the traditional way to recover from an affair. It involves you and your partner meeting a counselor in person to talk about your problems and ways to move forward. The counselor may choose different techniques in order to help you and your spouse forgive each other and move forward in the relationship.
There are many good things about using a traditional marriage counselor
First, when having a mediator, you will feel more comfortable about confronting your spouse and being honest. When left to your own devices, you may choose to ‘skip’ steps in order to move forward quickly or so you do not have to feel the pain of bringing up memories. This can be easier for you in the long run, but can be bad for your marriage later in the relationship.
Another good thing about using affair recovery counseling is that you will learn more about your spouse and understand him or her better. You will both look into the reason for the infidelity and understand why it happened. Once you have this information, you can learn how to stop it from happening again. Marriage is full of demands–you must be willing to work at the relationship to keep it healthy.
The drawbacks of traditional affair recovery counseling
- Traditional counseling can become a problem, however. Many couples learn to depend on the counseling sessions and stop making their own efforts into the marriage. They rely solely on the counselor and counseling to fix any new problems instead of learning from the sessions to fix their own problems.
- Another problem is that many people look at counseling as a last resort. It is usually only a stepping-stone to divorce. Many couples feel they are only going through the motions and looking at all options before giving up on their love and marriage. In order for counseling to work properly, both parties have to want it and have to believe it can work.
- Many studies have shown that the success rate of traditional marriage counseling can range from 20 to 40 percent. This is fairly low. The low success rate can be from many things; one being that both parties are not participating.
If traditional counseling may not be an option for you and your spouse, you may choose to use affair recovery books or an online affair recovery program in order to save your marriage.
There are many good reasons to use online books and programs. They include:
With traditional counseling, you visit with a professional once or twice a week for about an hour each visit. This is usually not considered enough time to spend fixing problems. With the affair counseling books, you can spend as much time as you want working on the problems in your marriage.
You do not have to leave the comfort of your home in order to work out your problems. This can reduce stress about finding time to meet with a traditional counselor.
Many people are private and do not want their personal problems talked about in front of others. It makes them uncomfortable, and therefore, the problems cannot be fixed. If you work through the problems on your own using affair recovery books and other literature, you may be more comfortable because it is still a personal problem between you and your spouse. No one else is involved, which can make you feel more comfortable and makes it easier to move forward with the relationship.
It is difficult for people to admit they need help, especially when there is a stranger involved. With online books and programs, one person can start the process and bring the other person into the process later.
Many insurance companies will not cover therapy and traditional counseling can get very pricey very quickly. These online books cut out a lot of the cost because you are working alone; there is no third party involved.
A Few Different Online Affair Recovery Systems
How to Survive an Affair – this online affair recovery program is a step by step guide for you and your partner that is specifically designed for marriage problems due to an affair. This company believes that fixing the marriage is not only about doing the right things, but doing them in the correct order.
They also believe that the healing process should begin immediately. You should not put off talking about the problems and working toward a healthy relationship. This affair recovery plan consists of three phases and many steps in each phase. The phases and steps are meant to be done in exact order because it will make it easier.
You may want to know why your spouse cheated on you because you think that will help you heal. It is important for both of you to understand why cheating happened, but not at the beginning. It is more important to deal with your own emotions and why they are happening. Later, you can discuss the more difficult aspects of the incident.
Break Free From The Affair – is also a great source of information. You can learn about the different types of cheating, how to deal with each type and other great information. You can even purchase the E-book and start healing your relationship with your spouse right away. Their website offers different packages. You can purchase one of three packages that will give you information on how to recover from an affair in the marriage.
You receive the e-book, “The First Step for Surviving Infidelity”. It gives you many different exercises and tips on how to cope with a cheating spouse. This is made for both the cheater and the cheated.
You also receive the best-selling e-book called “Break Free From the Affair”, and three more books that will give you information on cheating statistics, spying on your spouse to see if they are cheating, and another book about how to find out if your spouse is cheating.
The silver package includes everything above, along with coaching sessions that are in audio, a book on how to makeover your marriage, a book on what not to say, and many other informational pieces.
The gold package includes everything in the bronze and silver package, along with a few other great informational pieces, the ability to ask a coach your personal questions and get real, truthful answers, and four tele-coach sessions with a renowned doctor.
Many people choose the latter option because it is the most in depth and will give you a better understanding of the system. However, it is important to read about each package and decide what will work best for you and your spouse.
Marriage Fitness – has four different packages for you to choose from. Each of the packages are said to fix marriage problems due to cheating.
*The Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp
This program is a seven-week long process and you can do it at home in private. It is a breakthrough system that allows you to set aside your problems and reconnect with your partner. During the first week, you and your spouse will learn how to change bad behaviors; the second week you will learn how to stop living in the past and learn how to move forward. You will also learn how to stop yourself from hurting and how to restore your trust in your spouse.
You will also learn how to fight properly and many other tasks. This will be a long process, but if both you and your spouse are willing, it is a great step-by-step program to learn to love each other again. You also get one-on-one contact with the developer of the program, have access to seven tele-seminars, a 15-CD learning system, their special workbook and journal, special assignments, and many other great perks.
* The Marriage Fitness Home-Flex
With the Home-Flex system, you will get the seven-week program as described above, as well as the workbook and journal and special assignments. There is no tele-seminars or one-on-one contact.
* Audio Learning Program
This is a 5-CD learning program, which includes the workbook and journal. It is considered a budget friendly alternative to the home-flex and boot camp programs. With this program, you can add extra benefits if you feel it necessary.
* One-on-One Private Sessions
This program only includes the one-on-one sessions with the founder of the product. You will not receive any CD’s, workbooks or other perks. This is mainly for those living close to the main office, but they do allow telephone call sessions as well.
Any of these online affair recovery programs can be beneficial to helping you with your failing marriage.
The Marriage Fitness program seems a little better because it gives you one-on-one sessions and other great things.
The “Survive an Affair” program is also very good because it does not force you and your spouse to work together at the start of the program. Even though it is important for you and your spouse to talk things out, this system understands that you need to heal yourself before you heal your relationship.
The Break Free From The Affair program is a little better. It gives you a lot of free information and also allows you to purchase a special e-book for affair recovery. It also allows you to choose different packages and gives you the ability to look at each package in detail. However, the Marriage Fitness program really seems to be a great purchase.
They all give some sort of money back guarantee, so if you are not satisfied, you can return the product and get your money back.
The next question is whether or not these online affair recovery programs are as good or better than traditional counseling. The answer is not as simple as you may want. It really depends on you and the way you like to handle situations.
- If you are a person who tends to keep your personal life personal, you may benefit from any of these online programs because you can keep everything private.
- If you and your spouse are busy and cannot find a lot of time together, it may be difficult to use a traditional service, where face-to-face interaction with a therapist is key. With online services, you can work together at night or early in the morning; with traditional counseling, you have to schedule appointments during regular business hours.
- If you or your spouse have a tendency to procrastinate – put things off until the last minute – traditional counseling can be a better option because it is more structured. If you try an online system and cannot commit to a time to work on the program, it will be of no benefit.
- If you and your spouse have tried traditional counseling in the past and it did not work, you should definitely try online affair recovery books. They work differently than traditional counseling and can be exactly what you and your spouse need.
As stated before, there is no one perfect choice between counseling and online books and programs. You and your spouse will need to sit down and discuss the pros and cons for your situation. It may be best to sit down together and write down the good things and bad things about traditional counseling.
Then write down the good and bad things about using an online program or book. If you do not feel comfortable with your spouse during this stage, you can each write your own good and bad lists separately and then compare them. It may make the decision easier.
Once you have decided between traditional or unconventional help, you need to start looking for the right program or person to help you. If seeking more traditional advice, research online for good counselors in your area. You may also choose to look through your local phone book and pick a few different choices. Then call them and ask them questions to find the right one. (see this article for some tips on choosing a marriage counselor)
If you choose to use an online book, do some research on the different types that are available. Some of this work has been done for you here. You may also choose to look for other books or programs. The most important thing to remember is to choose one that will work for both you and your spouse.
Affair recovery help is very important for the future of your marriage. It is possible to move forward after infidelity, but it is important to have help. If you feel more comfortable with traditional methods, you will want to see a counselor. If you enjoy doing things on your own terms and in private, you will want to choose an online book or program to help you get your marriage and spouse back. Whichever method you choose, start as soon as possible in order to start the healing process.